Part 1
This past February, I had
taken a position with a small software-training company in Pittsburgh,
PA working as a sales/marketing capacity. It was a quite small and the
owner and the employees seemed to be on the ball. They talked incessantly
about one of their other new employees taking the steps to join the
company and participate in “The Forum” and were quick to explain
to their latest hire (ME) all of the “breakthroughs” in their
life due entirely to this thing called the Landmark Forum, and how it
is strongly encouraged of everyone that works here to attend this seminar,
as it will greatly improve communication within the small company. For
the next two months, I was spoken to regarding upcoming seminars, and
was told that the company would cover half of the $400 tuition for the
weekend. The owner took great pains after work, on lunch breaks and
other slow times to explain his experiences with the Forum, and how
it greatly changed his life for the better.
Being one for always hearing a person state their case, I listened about
how if it wasn’t for the Forum, his business, marriage, happiness,
etc. would not be possible, and that this thing really changed his life.
That’s quite fine, but then it got a bit stronger. While running
errands for the office with him, he went to great lengths to introduce
me to other “graduates” that were peppered around downtown
Pittsburgh, who were equally as excited to get me to sign up for this
seminar. Around this time, the other co-worker backed out of his “commitment”
to attend the seminars, and was immediately shunned by the owner and
other co-workers, and explained to me that “John” had some
serious emotional problems and wouldn’t attend the forum. Later
“John” told me that it wasn’t true, and that he just
didn’t want to get involved with these people. Soon afterward,
“John” was terminated from the company, and his replacement
was soon signed up for the Forum within about two months.
Around this time, I had the opportunity to research the Forum. I had
always known of EST, and the sordid history of its founder Werner Erhard.
I also had a good friend from college that had bought into the whole
Forum experience. When he was in the Forum, he had called me repeatedly
throughout his two sessions, and would rant at great lengths about his
life, and how much this thing “transformed” his life, telling
me his deepest darkest secrets while in a somewhat tranquilized state.
I also found a posting of a local man’s rather painful experience
with the Forum that made him speak out on the cult like nature of Landmark
Education. As luck would have it, he turned out to be one of my neighbors.
As I learned more, the less I wanted to have anything to do with this
organization, but the recruiting didn’t stop. In trying to put
a stop to these efforts, I unfortunately broke my anonymity as a recovering
alcoholic, and did not want to do anything that would put my recovery
at risk. He acknowledged that, and then I was told that he knew some
of the “graduates” that were also recovering alcoholics as
well, who soon afterwards spoke with me to assure me that it would be
a great asset to my recovery to attend the Forum.
So after about 5 months or so of their recruiting, I agreed to attend
the Forum, on the condition that they would pay for it. Needless to
say, he whipped out the credit card, made the call, and within 10 minutes,
I was scheduled for the September Forum in Cleveland, given all of the
information to fill out. I was also informed that there was a no-refund
policy, and that I should not back out of this commitment. Needless
to say, after seeing what happened to one of my former co-workers, I
made the commitment, half fearful for my job, half curious to see just
what this thing’s all about.
I packed an overnight bag and set off at 4:00 in the morning to trek
to the Travel Lodge in Cleveland for the 8:00 session. Arriving fully
caffinated, I checked in, and was greeted by a rather cheerful group
of volunteers, checking my application and going over the “are
you mentally fit” section. I peered into the conference room to
see another 10 volunteers frantically setting up the 250-odd chairs
in the ballroom, and a few others huddled around a very attractive black
woman, dressed in a charcoal gray suit who was busy setting up her folder
as she was getting a neck-rub.
The group of 200-odd people that assembled for the seminar looked like
a cross-section of Middle-Class Cleveland, home-makers, college students,
sales reps, Quite a few computer professionals, and a few retirees thrown
into the mix as well. A vast majority of them were enrolled by a family
member or a good friend that had completed the Forum, and a large contingent,
including myself, that were recruited by their employers/co-workers.
Most all of them were quite excited to be there, and were expecting
some big things to happen over the course of the next three days.
Upon the start if the event, we here herded into the rather cheesy conference
room and had a look at the rather spartan stage that contained only
two blackboards, a director’s chair and a music stand filled with
papers. The forum leader, Margaret welcomed us and was rather quick
to get down to business. Almost immediately, we were asked to question
our motives for being here, and began to read a litany of information
regarding the Forum itself. One of the big hot-button words that got
the participants interested was the liberal use of the word “technology.”
Soon afterward, we were involved in a question/answer question about
the Forum and especially some of the ties to Werner Erhard. Bear in
mind that many of the questions regarding good old Werner were quickly
brushed off, not to mention the dozen or so questions regarding LEC
being a cult. Later in the morning, we were told the rules (NO talking
without permission, NO taking notes, NO food or drinks other than water
in the room, NO tardiness, NO drugs or booze during the weekend, etc)
and that any deviation from these rules would risk out entire Forum
experience. They also introduced the legion of “volunteers”
that were there to assist us if we so needed it and told us of the three
16-hour days that are required for this seminar. We were also being
told that if you felt that this would be too much for you to handle,
or if you didn’t want to go through with it, you should leave immediately
and get your money back.
At this point, her rather personable demeanor turned authoritarian,
as participants voiced their concerns to her about the long hours, and
the idea of “transformation” which didn’t sit well with
many of the people there. There was a greater concern when we were told
that the Forum is only a taste of the larger Landmark product line,
including services for business, the highly-hyped “Advanced”
course and even a special Forum for kids, so your children can be a
part of your “transformation.”
At this point I was quite skeptical of Landmark and was ready to leave
the seminar and ask for my money back. However, If I did, I would be
placing my job at risk. My boss had paid for the Forum and I would have
to explain myself to him when I came back, not following through on
my commitment to follow through with the seminar. I feared that I would
lose the respect of my boss, and insult him. After all, he was very
involved in Landmark Education, along with most all of his friends and
family as well. The answer was quite clear at the time - Suck it up
and deal with it as best you can, and try to get through it without
hurting yourself.
As the day grew longer, and the people there weren’t accustomed
to having their brains bent for any great length of time, the once positive
and inquisitive attitude of the group soon turned sour. I also noticed
that many of the people there were becoming rather confused as the evening
went on, and rather that take a break, they stopped questioning it and
went on with the others in the group for the brain-bending.
It is also important at this time to note that the ideas of enrolling
others into Landmark come into play at this time. During breaks, we
are instructed to call and write letters to friends, and family to let
them know how Landmark is working in their life, and how they should
take the time to attend the Forum. Needless to say, the pay-phones were
jammed during break time.
In the latter part of Friday evening, the participants have been worn
down to the point that some are already having “breakthroughs.”
One man confesses that he has been harboring a great deal of resentment
towards his mother when she did not give him overwhelming praise after
he was accepted into a prestigious program at Harvard. Another man stood
up and stated that he was having a great deal of trouble being intimate
with his wife, and that he did not enjoy having sex with her. A housewife
said that she was sick and tired of being stepped on by her husband.
A rather pretty young woman was in tears describing how her father abandoned
her mother when she was three. Needless to say, liberal amounts of Kleenex
were passed around in that session. I too was caught up in the emotion
of this rather cathartic exercise, and realizing the pain of these rather
ordinary people As a result of this exercise, we were instructed to
write a letter to friends/family that you feel this way. I could also
feel the group thought taking control of the individual thought at this
time. It was part revival, part group therapy with a dash of Orwellian
mind-control tossed in for good measure. Heady stuff, but potentially
dangerous. The confessional atmosphere caused many to get up and blather
on and on about what’s bothering them, where they are lacking,
etc. just for the reinforcement from the Forum leader. This made others
uncomfortable that they aren’t up there spilling their guts in
front of 200+ complete strangers.
During the second day, the group assembled in the conference room, some
looking better than others. The tone was strict with little chit-chat.
One man was chided for taking notes during the session, and those that
were late had been given a icy stare from the Leader and other participants
as well. The topics discussed that lengthy day were “rackets”
and “winning formulas.” Rackets dealing with the inner conflicts
which prevent us from having “breakthroughs” and Winning Formulas
being the very things that we rely on as tools for survival in the world.
During those 16 hours, everyone had compiled ideas on what theirs were,
and shared with others ad-nauseum. The psychological wear and tear that
I was putting myself through was starting to take hold, and was fixed
with a few cups of coffee I smuggled in after breaks. Later on that
evening, there was an exercise that I found to be quit disturbing. After
2 solid days of mind-bending, the Forum leader had the group close their
eyes and have their brain scrubbed. At this point the group was fully
in the palm of her hand as she pushed the ever-powerful “fear”
button. Within a span of ten minutes, the entire group was sobbing incessantly
and many were screaming. Powerful for some, rather disconcerting for
myself - it was getting a bit too weird for me.
But at this point, I must give the folks at Landmark some credit. They
sure know how to work a room. At the end of it, the entire group was
laughing as they were wiping the tears from their eyes. It was a major
group catharsis, fueled mainly by the fact that many minds in that room
were reduced to Silly-Putty waiting to be kneaded and stretched some
more. After the exercise, the group was given their second assignment,
more letters and calls to loved ones to tell them of their experiences
and how they should attend.
Sunday was the time in which things lightened up a bit - or did it?
The concept of “Life is empty and meaningless when life is empty
and meaningless” was brought to the group. Immediately, some people
in the group just had their bubble burst. One woman stood up and yelled,
“No it’s not! That’s bullshit!” and others began
to cry. Once again - working the crowd, bursting balloons and refilling
them with a mixture of helium and existentialism. Many don’t know
what to think. They are disoriented, much more so than before, which
is the perfect time to review information on how THE ADVANCED COURSE
can fill that empty space, and for only $800 ($700 of you sign up within
the week) you too can fill your life with meaning. Later, participants
are asked to bring their friends who enrolled them into the Forum to
thank them in front of the crowd. I think they get a toaster if they
sign up 3 or more. Before the evening was over, we were instructed on
our reentry into normal life. We were asked that we take this opportunity
to observe our world around us, and also to make sure that we bring
some friends to the Tuesday evening session for our “wrap-up.”
Was the next day magical? Not really. I was rather disoriented from
lack of sleep, and was a bit more suspicious of this thing being a cult
when I spoke to my co-workers that were excited to learn of what I had
thought of the whole thing. I was especially wary of their suggestions
that I bring some friends to the Tuesday night seminar. More concerning
was that they launched into the Forum-speak with me.
The next evening, I was back in Cleveland for the wrap-up session, which
as I found out was like a big Psychological AMWAY sales seminar in which
family and friends are unmercilessly pitched the Forum while the bent-brain
Forum grads are pitched the Advanced Class. At one point, the forum
leader had asked those that were signing up for the advanced class to
do so now. About half of the people got up and signed on. She then asked
who was considering taking the advanced class to stand up. All in all,
the Forum was quite interesting, and as someone who is a bit of a thrill-seeker,
I stood up. We were then ordered to go to the back to sign up for the
advanced course. I followed and started to fill out the application.
Then I caught myself - did I have $700? No - That’s 3 months rent
for me. That little voice inside my head said to me, “you’re
in over your head.” That little voice was ME. I stared at the form,
and then was given the 3rd degree by a volunteer and a couple others
hanging over his shoulder. The conversation went something like this.
Volunteer: Are you signing up for the one in December or January.
ME: I’m sorry. I thought about it, and I just don’t want to.
I don’t have the money.
Volunteer: If you don’t sign up now, you won’t save $100
ME: I don’t have$700
Volunteer: Put it on your card.
ME: Sorry, I can’t and I won’t
Volunteer: What are you afraid of? Don’t you want to change?
ME: Look, I don’t have the money, and I really feel comfortable
doing this.
Volunteer: If you don’t do the advanced forum, you’ll lose
what you’ve learned.
ME: What did I just say to you?
Volunteer - Long pause
ME: I’m getting up from this chair and I’m going to sit down
right now. Thank you.
Unfortunately, the Forum leader noticed that I was quick in getting
back to me seat. I was then chided for not following through with my
commitment. Commitment to what?
TO
BE CONTINUED
|